My hamper floweth over
The Keith Family News
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Somebody DOOCE me. PLEASE!!!
So I was recently reading on Dooce how her husband quit his job, and she is now the sole bread winner in the family. From what I can gather, she is now supporting her family by blogging alone. Seriously? Writing sarcastic snippets from home and paying the bills? Sign me up!
So now that I no longer fear being "dooced", a phrase she coined meaning being fired for writing rude things about your co-workers on your blog, and would actually welcome it, here goes nothing----
Hey, co-worker, babies do not "catch colic" from being outside on a beautiful, sunny, breezy day! In addition, grass is not a bad thing for babies to touch, or sit in, it will not make them "itchy" and is not "dirty". As a matter of fact, the brief daily outings out of our fluorescent lit baby jail into the sunlit outdoors is one of the things that helps keep me and the drunken midgets sane!
No, I do not wish to add strawberry syrup to my sons cereal, even if it "helps they eat they food". I also don't wish to feed my son tutti-fruiti dessert, or add sugar to his cereal bottle.
Hey, co-worker, I'm sorry that you "ain't fittin to spoil no baby", but holding and comforting a 3 month old infant on his 2nd day in child care who, by the way, is breastfed and does not like to take a bottle is not called "spoiling" it is called "caring for".
And speaking of "fittin to", I don't need to hear how you are "fittin to use it" every time you need to use the restroom. I don't want to know about your affairs , how you get drunk at 3:00 in the afternoon while caring for your 5 kids after school, about any drugs you may have done, how hard it is to get rid of ringworm, or any other of the WAY TO MUCH INFORMATION information that you enjoy passing on to me AT ALL!!
Well, that's all for now, if either of you who read my Blog would like to pass this along to sponsors, I am anxiously awaiting my retiement!!
So now that I no longer fear being "dooced", a phrase she coined meaning being fired for writing rude things about your co-workers on your blog, and would actually welcome it, here goes nothing----
Hey, co-worker, babies do not "catch colic" from being outside on a beautiful, sunny, breezy day! In addition, grass is not a bad thing for babies to touch, or sit in, it will not make them "itchy" and is not "dirty". As a matter of fact, the brief daily outings out of our fluorescent lit baby jail into the sunlit outdoors is one of the things that helps keep me and the drunken midgets sane!
No, I do not wish to add strawberry syrup to my sons cereal, even if it "helps they eat they food". I also don't wish to feed my son tutti-fruiti dessert, or add sugar to his cereal bottle.
Hey, co-worker, I'm sorry that you "ain't fittin to spoil no baby", but holding and comforting a 3 month old infant on his 2nd day in child care who, by the way, is breastfed and does not like to take a bottle is not called "spoiling" it is called "caring for".
And speaking of "fittin to", I don't need to hear how you are "fittin to use it" every time you need to use the restroom. I don't want to know about your affairs , how you get drunk at 3:00 in the afternoon while caring for your 5 kids after school, about any drugs you may have done, how hard it is to get rid of ringworm, or any other of the WAY TO MUCH INFORMATION information that you enjoy passing on to me AT ALL!!
Well, that's all for now, if either of you who read my Blog would like to pass this along to sponsors, I am anxiously awaiting my retiement!!
Keithclan, 1:01 AM
