My hamper floweth over

The Keith Family News

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Let's Clarify... I am not a literalist

When I posted "I Accept the Challenge", I was in no way proposing a duel between myself and a Higher Power, I wasn't even aware that God was reading my blog! I was merely trying to be somewhat witty, which I now apologize for profusely. Apparently God has a sense of humor as well, and laughed as he read my post. "A challenge, you say, apparently you haven't read Job." So, in addition to the challenge of packing, let me recap some of the other obstacles that had to be overcome for a holiday weekend getaway with the Keiths

1. Chad was not able to take off of work as anticipated on Friday. So all of the last minute preparations that I planned on cramming in between the hours of noon, when he was supposed to get off, and 4:00, when we were supposed to leave, were ruined.
2. 4:OO A.M. Friday morning, Lillian wakes up crying, "I need to go potty." I stumble into her room half asleep to aid her and Pierce mumbles, "she threw up in her bed." Surely not! Surely he is just dreaming and.. No, she did. So I clean her up and the mess up and bring her into bed with me only to have her throw up in my bed as well, because she thinks the idea of puking into a toilet or trash can is ludicrous. Yes it makes much more sense to blow chunks all over the place where you sleep!
3. At 11:00, I realize it is time to pick up Ashton, or rather almost past time to pick up Ashton from Kindergarten. I get Lillian, Max and Pierce out into the pouring rain into the van and THE VAN WON'T START! So I get everyone out of the van and call my husband to come pick up Ashton and he says that the battery has run down. He jumps it, drives around the block, and assures me it will be fine. I revamp my plans, and decide to feed the kids lunch, give them a nap, make sure Lillian can keep down her applesauce and toast, pick up Jordan at 3:00, run to the store, have the van packed and ready by the time my husband gets home. At 3:00, we get in the van and THE VAN WON'T START!!!
4. At 6:00 my husband comes home, changes the battery with the battery from HIS van, thank God it works, and we are on our way. We stop to gas up, and being the moron that I am, I step in a giant puddle of gas. Long story not so short, we show up at camp, me in the pair of swim trunks I had purchased for my husband at Wal-Mart because I forgot to pack his, because our suitcase had gone ahead with another family who had ample room in their van, and because the smell from my gasoline soaked jeans was so horrendous that no one could stand it, at 10:30 pm.

It ended up being a nice relaxing weekend, only briefly interrupted on Saturday night by a giant pukefest! Yes, both Lillian and Ashton got sick, but the good news is I finally convinced Lillian that it is okay to throw up in a trash can. That's all for now, I promise to post pictures soon.
Keithclan, 1:01 PM | link | 2 comments |

Monday, May 30, 2005

Desperate Party

I just realized that I never posted about the Desperate Housewives party. It was definitely a success. About ten women showed up, and even those crazy few who don't follow the show had a good time. I have to say TiVo is a must for an event like this, because God knows when you have two or more women together, especially women who talk primarily to preschoolers all day, there is going to be some chatter. I am excited about the development of this group, and can't wait for future events. Anyway, I need to go unpack from our family camp excursion, which I will post more about when I have some pictures to go with it.
OHH, I have to say something I never thought I would say at the beginning of the season...POOR BREE!!! I can't imagine finding out your husband had died thinking that you had killed him!! Anyway, back to the unpacking, which I am sure is a major portion of the day for anyone in hell, that and laundry and cleaning up puke, which was also a part of my weekend. But more on that later...
Keithclan, 6:39 PM | link | 14 comments |

Thursday, May 26, 2005

You're freakin' my nuts off

This phrase was coined by our six year old. The baby was crying, and she combined "he's driving me nuts" and "he's freaking me out" to come up with this beauty.
"Come get Max, Mom. He's freakin' my nuts off."
"WHAT did you say?"
"He's freakin' my nuts off!"
"where did you hear that?"
"I just made it up."
"Well, don't say that."
"Why not?"
"because I said so."
Pierce's latest is "B-Hole". Or rather "Bee hole". That's where the Bees live. Also, Pierce likes to watch the girls play "A Series of a Fort-u-bitch events" on the "compooter". And my favorite as of late... he was soo excited that his teachers gave him a "diarrhea" so he can practice his writing over the summer.

Jordan used to wear a "reotard" to gymnastics, and once told me she was a "mini pimp".
"A WHAT?!?"
"A mini pimp. It means you look cute. That's what one of the boys at school says when he's dressed up."
"Well, it doesn't mean that, and don't say it."
"Why not?"
"Because I said so."
Keithclan, 6:50 PM | link | 1 comments |

Sunday, May 22, 2005

I Accept the challenge

There are many advantages to having a large family. Such as:
1. Never having to eat leftovers
2. Always having someone to blame it on (this goes for wrong doings and bad smells)
3. Always having someone on your side
4. Always having someone to play with
5. NEVER a dull moment (rarely a quiet one)

However, there are some disadvantages. One that I as another am currently dealing with concerns our Memorial Day trip to Dwight Mission. We are all really looking forward to it. This will be our fourth year to attend, and we have always had an amazing time. From the moment we arrive, we have one of the most enjoyable and relaxing weekends of the year. HOWEVER, packing is a bit of a challenge. I get to pack clothes for 7 people, tolietries for 7, 4 sleeping bags, bed sheets and blankets for my husband and I and a pack n' play, a stroller, at least 12 pairs of shoes, 14 TOWELS, and then some. The real fun part will be trying to fit all this and 7 people into our mini van!!! Does anyone know if the Partridge Family is done with their bus? Their kids should be grown now and we could sure use it...
Keithclan, 2:29 PM | link | 1 comments |

Monday, May 16, 2005

the prince frog by ashton

a long time a go there was a frog. not just a frog a frog prince. one day a princess came by and saw the frog. the frog said princess you must kiss me. no!!!!! said the princess. but you must kiss me i will turn into a prince. fine said the princess then she kissed him. and then POOF he turned in to a prince. they lived happily ever after. THE END

See the masterfull illustration here
Keithclan, 6:01 PM | link | 1 comments |

Thursday, May 12, 2005


Max doing one of the things he does best...
Check it out HERE.
Keithclan, 10:23 PM | link | 1 comments |

Monday, May 09, 2005

Short movie of kids celebrating Mothers Day ... and frogs.
Keithclan, 8:16 PM | link | 0 comments |

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

the new cow

My brother is finally a cow. He produces MILK! Isn't that cool? We can have a farm now. WOW! cool so now I am going to be a FARMER! isn't that soooooo cool? I always thought farming was impossible in a urban place, but I guess not. So I'm going to be rich now! I cant wait until mom signs the permission slip! she said I cant be the farmer, but I can be the hay cleaner. Pierce can be person who rounds up the cow, but we need a poop cleaner. I'm glad I'm not the poop cleaner, but I still want to be the farmer. my brother agreed to be a cow, and I wonder how long it will take till the people say its O.K for us to have a real farm. I get to feed my brother hay! oh yeah! so I think there here they are they said YES yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa by
Keithclan, 4:10 PM | link | 5 comments |

Monday, May 02, 2005


So Ashli and I are going to start a moms group, no REALLY WE ARE. It is taking us a little while to get started, but we are very determined. We are going to have a Desperate Housewives season finale party, and hoping to plan a retreat for September. A spiritual retreat, of course, lots of praying, maybe have a needlework class or something....
Anyway, just wanted to give a few reasons why we are starting this group.

1. Understanding
It is much easier to tell someone the story of how your daughter stuck peas in her nose to a group where at least one other person can nod their head with blissful camaraderie.
2. Companionship
Its nice to have someone who, when you go to the bathroom together in a restaurant, you don't have to wipe their hiney before you leave.
Let's face it, Super Nanny is the same show over and over again, and for those of us who are not willing to dictate our lives down to the quarter hour, we need some realistic help.
4. Understanding
We need to have someone to understand our joys. Through the booger and cheerio covered muck of our everyday lives that our childless friends cannot and do not want to fathom, to the end of the night when you look at their sweet sleeping face and know without a doubt that they are the most beautiful creation ever made, we need to be able to share in small daily joys as well as the more obvious larger ones. Laughing with your child about a silly joke or curling up to enjoy both of your favorite Disney movie is just as important, and sometimes more memorable, than their first coo or step.

Well, it has once again become far later than I intended to be awake, so I'll sign off...
Keithclan, 10:52 PM | link | 1 comments |

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Keeping up with the Keiths

Well, here it is. The Keith family enters the blogging world! Blogging here meaning a way for the Keiths to keep in touch with family members and friends who live far away, or close by, for that matter. In this blog you will find adorable pictures of the many Keith children, updates on the family's activites and accomplishments, and thoughts and ideas from various Keith members. And no, we do not expect, or for that matter necessarily strongly encourage anyone to try to keep up with us in our struggle to "go forth and populate the world". That's all for now!
Keithclan, 9:37 PM | link | 3 comments |