My hamper floweth over
The Keith Family News
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Didn't Stephen King write a novel based on this premise?
Sleep deprivation, that is. Today was the last day of school before the break.(Break-for who, exactly?) So being the well organized person that I am, I was up until about 1:00 finishing teacher gifts, making sure the outfits that the girls wanted to wear were clean and ready, etc. So why would the baby who was already in my bed wake up at about 3:00 not to go back to sleep at all for at least 2 hours, and even then not peacefully? For any of you who might have just said "aww, the poor thing must be sick", I would like to first say bite me, and then remind you that we are talking about a child who has maybe slept through the night twice in his whole life, and inform you that he acts like this at night and is hunky-dory during the day. I will take him to the doctor, hoping he will say that he has an ear infection, or some other ailment that can be cured with antibiotics or such, but if that is not the case, the bidding will start on Christmas Eve at midnight at $1.00.
Want to know what my theory is? He has a little cold and a stuffy nose, and can't suck his beloved binky through the night. That's it, nothing more. As for any of you who are thinking "Why does he still have a binky anyway? And why hasn't she trained him to sleep through the night yet, it's really her own fault." I would like to again say BITE ME and remind you that voodoo dolls and curses do work, maybe not today or tomorrow,but you will all have teenagers one day....
He wanted me to sing to him last night, so here are some the lullabies I came up with:
To the tune of "The Scientist"
Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame that you don't sleeppp,
Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said that I would never sleep.
Let's take you back to the hospital.
To the tune of "Fix You"
I will give you drugs (meaning Tylenol, don't call the authorities)
I will give you hugs
And that had better fix you
As you can tell, I am slap happy at least, ready for my own padded cell at most, so I will bid you adieu and pray for us all to have a restful night...
Want to know what my theory is? He has a little cold and a stuffy nose, and can't suck his beloved binky through the night. That's it, nothing more. As for any of you who are thinking "Why does he still have a binky anyway? And why hasn't she trained him to sleep through the night yet, it's really her own fault." I would like to again say BITE ME and remind you that voodoo dolls and curses do work, maybe not today or tomorrow,but you will all have teenagers one day....
He wanted me to sing to him last night, so here are some the lullabies I came up with:
To the tune of "The Scientist"
Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame that you don't sleeppp,
Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said that I would never sleep.
Let's take you back to the hospital.
To the tune of "Fix You"
I will give you drugs (meaning Tylenol, don't call the authorities)
I will give you hugs
And that had better fix you
As you can tell, I am slap happy at least, ready for my own padded cell at most, so I will bid you adieu and pray for us all to have a restful night...
Keithclan, 6:32 PM
