My hamper floweth over

The Keith Family News

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Poopypants-----The Depends years

I was just thinking how much fun it would be if 50 years from now all of the Poopy pants girls were in the same nursing home. (Not to suggest that it will take 50 years for us to require adult diapers, some of us need them now.)

Jamie---I will be the mumbler and head shaker. I will be sitting in the corner, reliving unpleasant memories in my head. "Pierce, what are you doing...Max get away from the toilet....I don't care who hit who just stop fighting...No thanks, I don't want any Tony's pizza, my stomach is upset..."

Ashli----Obviously, she will be the old bitty. "What is this? Carolers? Alright then, go ahead and sing your song, (not that it's on key or in pitch.) Yeah, that was great, now move along you little...." Or "OHHH MY GOOODDD!!! How long do I have to stand in this *%*#* lunch line? Well I don't care if he is in a wheelchair!! He can wheel it along a little *#*% faster! I'm hungry!!

Ginny---She will be the very sweet old lady with her knee-his rolled down to her ankles and a hand-knitted hat with a fuzzy ball on top that she wears in August. She will always be smiling, although she very rarely will know what is going on, and will every once in a while shout out "that's lovely dear, just lovely!" for no reason whatsoever.

Summer---Summer the Frugal will be the one who remembers exactly how much things used to cost and feel the need to share this information with everyone. "Two dollars for a can of coke? I remember when they were only 50 cents!!!" She will also mail birthday cards to her great-grandchildren with a dollar in them and complain that they don't send thank you notes, even though a postage stamp will cost about a dollar.

Camille---A lot like me, will spurt off random thoughts from some distant memory, although she will actually be talking to random people from the present as though they were there. (To her nurse)"You remember when Charlie lost her toy lizard Lizzie at school and they looked everywhere for it? And then it turned out to be in her tights the whole time? That was funny, wasn't it." Nurse, "Yes, Mrs. Roper, now let's get you back to your room."

Leslie---- A knowledgeable person in her prime, she will try to give advice to people with the true intention of being helpful, even though her advice will be very out-dated. "Does that baby have a fever? You should alternate Tylenol and Advil every two hours." Unfortunately, both products will have been replaced years ago. And don't ask me why, but I also see her as the one who will flirt with the murses. "Be careful not to bend over in front of Mrs. Mossman, she'll goose ya."
Keithclan, 5:01 PM

2 Comments:

Can you be more funny? Seriously?
Blogger Unknown, at 3:10 PM  
I went to the grocery store today and saw that blueberries were on sale. The way I figure it I have overpaid you by about $.73 last week for baby food. Bitch. :)
Summer
P.S. Don and I will be much too cheap to pay for a nursing home, my kids are taking care of me!!
Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:35 PM  

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