My hamper floweth over

So, before my beloved husband left to take all five of my kids to McAlester for the night so that I could get some MUCH needed spring cleaning done, I decided to be nice and vacuum out the van. I left, without my cell phone, to drive about 6 blocks, it should only take a minute, right? I put my quarters in the machine and quickly turn around to start vacuuming as to not lose a second of my paid time. The machine didn't start right up, so I laid the hose in the seat to check it, just then it comes on, and I hear a sickening clink, and I realize I left my keys laying in the seat with the hose.

After borrowing a nice man's phone ( and enduring his, "oh, I feel sorry for the retarded girl" look) and calling my husband, I had a few minutes to ponder my situation.

How did this current situation stack up against my past embarrassing moments? Surely it made the top 10, Along with:

--Talking to my next door neighbor (an elderly man) outside in the yard for at least five minutes, only to come inside and realize I had not buttoned my shirt OR fastened my bra after nursing Jordan..
--Getting out of the car to drop Jordan off at preschool when Pierce was only a few weeks old, and Jordan says "Mommy, you dropped Pierce's blanket", and I quickly run back to pick up my underwear, which had fallen out of the pantleg of the jeans I was wearing and had also worn the day before, hoping no one else realized it was not a blanket...
---The day I spilled hot candled wax on my brand new couch and then, when trying to iron the wax out managed to burn an iron impression into the carpet...
---Having a little girl stick her head under the door of the bathroom stall that I was in at Target and say "OOOHH, Mommy! That lady pooped in her pants!!" And her mother whisper "Come on honey, let's go."

Luckily, there was an attendant at the car wash, and as my husband was pulling up, I was getting my keys out of the machine.

On the way home I thought, I am the biggest moron I know, but then I was comforted by a thought. If you stick all the people I know TOGETHER, they would all be equal to me as a moron. Some examples:

---My friend drops her Razr in the toilet...
---My friends strains so hard while sitting on the toilet that she passes out and hits her head...
---My friend has to drop her maternity overalls on the side if the highway to lay wolf bait and has to have her husband hand her her unborn baby's bibs to wipe her ass with...
---My friend spends over an hour looking for her keys at the mother's day out only to find they were in her daughter's diaper bag all along....
--- My friend has to fish her car keys out of the toilet she has just had the runs in at a gas station...

And as I think of all these things, I smile, and know that I am not alone in the world...

I'm crying. My ribs hurt. I can't catch my breath.

how could you possibly forget about your friend having to take a poop in a diaper while driving in the car!! that one takes the cake!
Ginny