My hamper floweth over

I wrote this a long time ago, but never posted it. I decided to in support of Karen's Post:


I breastfed my kids, pretty much on demand, all 5 of them. Though we recycle,I used disposable diapers with all 5, and should probably have a landfill named after me. I have never "sleep trained" my children. I buy as many organic and whole grain foods as possible, yet my children enjoy McDonalds, pizza, or some other fast food option about once a week. I work part time. I spank, though not as a major part of discipline....

Guess what? None of that really matters.

It all SEEMS so important when we are making these parenting decisions, we take so much time and energy deciding what is best for our children, that we become convinced that these decision are a universal absolute truth, and judge others that don't accept them as such.

Truth is, the decisions we make as parents have much more to do with what works for us than our children. And that's okay.

When you walk down the street, can you tell which people wore disposable diapers and which wore cloth? Who was breastfed and who wasn't?

These types of parenting choices really have no bearing on what types of adults our children turn out to be.

What makes a big difference? The happiness of the parents, whether or not they are well rounded individuals who live lives that are fulfilling to them.

If I stay home and find it miserable, is that really what's best for my child? Or vice versa? If breastfeeding is an unpleasant experience, isn't it better to bottle feed and enjoy it? You can't bond with your children by performing activities that you don't enjoy.

It's important to remember that we are all somebody's "that mom". You know, the "I'm glad I'm not THAT mom", we all are someone's idea of pitiful, lazy, selfish, or just plain "freakish". (I'm sure I fall into the "freakish" category).

Later, from "You know? THAT mom with all the kids."

AMEN, sister. I love this post, it is so true! I have always believed that my happiness and feelings of fullfillment have a direct connection to the way my children react to me and/or view me. I wish to God I would have known this before I had children. (Although, I kinda have to disagree with you on the sleep thing, only because me + no sleep= very miserable/grumpy/unhappy!:))

Alright, Ginny, it may sometimes be evident which people walking down the street have had a good nights sleep (eg, me shopping in Wal-Mart, half dazed with my shirt half tucked in and drool piling in the corner of my mouth), but all of the rest of my kids have fallen into line. What am I supposed to do with the renegade last kid? I could let him cry himself to sleep at this point, but not at 2:00 a.m. I am tired. See the viscous circle? I may have to send Chad with all the older kids away for the weekend sometime soon, though i fear he will come back to find Max wearing face paint and a loin cloth and me gagged and bound in the corner.

was Lillian already sleeping through the night by this time? I cannot figure out why he is being so stubborn! Surely, his time will soon come. You musn't forget the connection between smarts and lack of sleep, maybe that can keep you going.

This is all so true. I struggled so much with not breastfeeding JH, but he turned out just fine. well it takes him longer to do things, and he did have a tail!:)

So you're that mom! too funny - so am I! Loved the post!