My hamper floweth over

I am a putz. I admit it. I have blogged about it. You think that would help. The awareness that I tend to do putzy things should help me prevent repeatedly making the same mistakes. But no.


This weekend, I hit my head so hard coming out of the girls' closet that I thought I was going to pass out. I have hit my head coming out of the girls' closet approximately 257 times since we moved into this house 5 years ago. I always warn Chad that if he is not nice to me, I will go have a CAT scan and, when they find the obvious brain damage, claim that he beats me. I mean, really, do you think that they will believe anyone would hit their head in the EXACT SAME SPOT 257 times?


Every time I use the microwave to defrost pork chops, the same ridiculous thought creeps into my head. I know it is going to creep into my head, I say to myself "don't think that ridiculous thought, DON'T!" But I think it nonetheless. The thought, you ask? "Do I press defrost 1 or 2?" Defrost 1 being meat, defrost 2 being poultry. Yes, I have to think, "Are pork chops, meat, or poultry?" Laugh if you must, but when pigs fly...,



I like to keep hard boiled eggs around for the kids to have as snacks. EVERY time I make them, I forget I am making them, and let them boil for 15 to 20 minutes. If my children ever have to answer what color the yolk of an egg is on a test, they will answer "green on the outside and yellow on the inside."


Feel free to share embarrassing stories about yourself, make me feel better, PLEASE tell me I am not alone!


I leave you with my kids school pics....

Aw, your kids' pictures are so nice.

Maybe you should tape a pillow on the closet door, or one of those hanging tennis balls like people do in the garage. How about a helmet?

I forget to put the milk away and find it sitting out several hours later. I've also found wet laundry in the washer many days later more than a couple times. It's almost always towels. Pew.

I forget about food a lot, too. Recently I steamed some brocolli... with air. Yep, forgot to add the water. Ruined the brocolli and the pan, too. I also run into door frames, bed frames, etc, constantly... I have terrible depth perception. It happens so often I constantly have bruises, but I never remember why, I just run into something and go on, it's so normal. I do tons of putzy things, don't beat yourself up (sounds like to closet is doing a better job, anyway). Oh, gorgeous gorgeous kids!! It's so fun getting to see them, even though I haven't met most of them... Elena

OK, not really sure I am ready to come out with this, but EVERY time I hard boil eggs, I call my mom for a procedural recap. I have no idea why this fairly simple process sends me into a wide-eyed, muscle-frozen, nervous twitter that can only be subdued by hunting down my mom: "Mom, I know you are in the middle of a heated Mah-jong tournament and your cell phone is off, so I called Shannon's and had her pass her phone to you. Can you walk me through the process of boiling eggs? ...take the eggs out of the fridge, yes...put some water in a pan, got it...turn on the burner, I can do that...No! Don't hang up, the water isn't to a rolling boil yet. How many grains of salt should I count out for maximum peel-ability? Will you call me back when I should be done to see if I did it right?" Now I have to point out that my mom is INCREDIBLY patient with this nonsense. Maybe she is just relieved that after about 10 years of maarriage, I FINALLY stopped calling her (sometimes daily) about oven temperatures for various kinds of meat.

Lizzee

You are not alone:) In the house we just bought there is a ledge that comes out a bit further then the railing under it and then there is the opening in between. I post a pic one day - Anyway, every time I'm there working on the house I lean in to get a better look at whatever and smack my head. It never fails.

Boiling eggs? Same thing. Every time. My other favorite? Putting laundry in the washer and then heading back upstairs to get a few more things to stuff in there but forgetting to actually do it, so several hours later I go to put it in the dryer and since the lid was left up on the washer of course it's just full of water and laundry. Ugh....something has to give!

Quick update - I did call my mom with a meat question last night, ugh!
Lizzee

Was it "meat" or "poultry", there's a difference, you know....