My hamper floweth over

That Monday had been a beautiful day. On the way home from school, the children had all whined and moaned that they were melting, even after the windows of the van were rolled down. I just had to turn on the air conditioner. They could barely breathe, for Pete's sake!

We came home and the older girls ran upstairs to rummage through the "new to them" box of hand-me-downs they had a received the week before. They came downstairs wearing several layers of brightly colored tank tops, capri sweatpants, and ballet flats. As we headed to the park, they looked like tourists in a strange land, not sure what to make of this new bizarre climate.

That was Monday. Now it was Wednesday. I was already late for church as I jumped in the van and headed down the street. I pulled up next to the curb a block and a half away and tried to fake a smile as I opened the door. "Come here, Otis boy", I said in a falsely sweet tone, trying to mask my utter disgust with the situation.

He ran up to the open door, into the front seat, but as I leaned over to shut the door, he ran out again.

This went on for five more blocks. I finally parked the van and continued the pursuit on foot. Several times I thought I had him cornered in someone's driveway, but he was just to fast for me. After a block and a half, I gave up and walked back to my van.

As I started the ignition, he ran to the drivers side door. Skeptically I opened it, and he jumped right in.

On the six and a half block car ride home, he stood proudly in the front seat, staring out the window and smiling. He would turn to me frequently as if to say "that was fun, wasn't it? Let's do it again tomorrow!"

As I carried him inside, the brisk cool wind caught the backside of my pants, and I realized they were damp.

Yes, Monday had been a beautiful day, and I had, of course, left the van windows down just in time for that night's rain storm. Though I sat on towels Tuesday and Wednesday morning, apparently the seats were still wet.

I participated in a Valentine's secret pal exchange at work. They handed out questionnaires to give people ideas. Along side the "what is your favorite snack food? drink? magazine?" type questions were "what is your favorite hobby? what do you do to relax?"

I reread the questions several times as if they were written in some foreign language. My heart sank a bit. I imagined all the fun, exotic hobbies that my coworker were writing down. I made some joke as to not having free time, and decided to answer honestly with logic/word puzzles, reading, watching t.v.

As I scanned my secret pal's sheet, I laughed as I came to those questions. I laughed aloud as I read her answers. Next to "What are your hobbies?" she had written "Laundry?" and on "what do you do to relax?" was "read and watch t.v."

I get that I wouldn't do well at a high school career day. No right minded teenage girl would daydream of a similar future as described chasing a dog six blocks in wet pants or talked excitedly about the new stain remover I had discovered.

I'll admit that I myself have found myself a million miles from where I thought I wanted to be. But I can't imagine, in a million mile radius, a better life for me.

This is just too funny. I read excerpts of this to my co-workers and they are rolling on the floor.

freakin hilarious.